Delimna of a Today’s Woman

I am woman, here me roar!  Okay you can turn the volume down now.  Yes you read that correctly.  I said down.  My roar these days is more like a soft meow.  Why is this?  It’s because today’s women are exhausted.  I do not mean physically exhausted.  Even though going strong from sun up to midnight can wear anyone out.  I do, however, believe this is why women out live men but that’s slightly off topic.  It’s also not mental exhaustion even though the constant thinking about this and thinking about that brings about monster headaches that only a tall glass wine alone in the dark quiet can cure.  It’s emotional stress that has us hiding in the corner covered by that duvet we have yet to wash again.

Where is this coming from?  Tonight while doing a two mile walk on the treadmill, since the ankle is still protesting, I got to thinking about the 94 my 8 year old received on her math test today.  It took my breath away and left a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Sound odd that such a good grade would have this effect on me?  Let me explain.

I attended a parent/teacher conference yesterday afternoon.  The teacher proceeded to show me my daughter’s progress this year, or lack of.  Her average math score was a 45.  Luckily I composed myself before the reaction could surface and just nodded my head.  They are worried she will fail her EOG and will have to repeat the third grade.  When I asked my daughter once we left the building how she would feel if she had to repeat this year while her friends all went to the next school, she promptly replied “I don’t care”.  Just what every mother wants to hear from their 8 year old.

What compounds this all is she reads at a fifth grade level, so she is a smart kid, just lazy.  She, like most of today’s children, is more interested in playing with her DS or watching SpongeBob on TV than concentrating on her school work.  What makes that hole in my stomach grow is the fact that I work in the next state.  That sounds worse that it actually is but it is still over an hour commute one way for me.  I leave shortly after she gets up in the morning and do not return until she is in bed.

Not only do I have a remote job but after I punch the clock I attend class.  I’m also a graduate student trying hard to obtain a Masters in Information Science.  This puts me home around midnight some nights and then others I have to work on my homework.

Anywhere in the previous paragraphs did you see, ‘and my daughter and I worked on her test / project / book’?  No.  I’m not here.  It will get better once I am done with school myself but until then I have to contend with parent /teacher conferences and the threat of a repeat school year.

Back to the 94.  Yesterday after we returned from the conference I did have to work a few more hours which I did remotely.  As soon as I logged out, she and I studied hard for her math test.  I made it fun by making it like a guessing/memorizing game.  We did this for an hour.  Then we repeated it again after she got dressed for school this morning and she flew through them all.  A high five was in order.  She was smiling and excited about her test.  What a difference an hour spent the night before helping her made.

So what this tells me is if I could be here for her and help her each week, her grades would be significantly higher and perhaps she would take more pride in the grade presented to us on the progress report.

So as women admit it, we try to do it all.  And even when we delegate a few tasks they just aren’t handled in quite the same manner as we would try ourselves.  We’ve obtained the high stress successful careers, we have the housework, the cooking, the whole family package, we try to stay fit to enjoy it all but suffer in return from all of the hard work we do to try and have better lives and provide more for our family.  There is just not enough time to be both husband and wife but this is the role we as today’s women are trying to wear with pride and it just may be doing more harm than good.

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